I have four weeks of vacation days each year. I use all of my vacation days every year. But, I feel I haven’t taken any vacation for the past three years.
Okay, I might be exaggerating a little bit. But, honestly, I feel that I haven’t taken a vacation for a very long time.
The problem is that we use all of our vacation days to visit families on both sides. My folks live in California. My in-laws live in the Far East. We live in the Pacific Northwest.
The grandparents want to see the little ones. We try out best to visit them. So, every year, we visit the Far East for 2-3 weeks, and then visit my folks in the bay area for 1-2 weeks during Christmas holiday.
With two car seats, a stroller, and two little ones who are getting increasingly active, the travelling is getting harder and harder. Despite all of these, my son took three trips to the Far East in his first 18 months. Each flight took about twelve hours.
I have to admit that I’m getting pretty tired. Visiting families could get hectic and stressful. But, we also want the little ones to spend as much time as they could with their grandparents. It’s a struggle to balance conflicting demands. 🙂
This problem is not unique to us. I was talking to a buddy of mine a few months ago. His parents live in India, while his wife’s family lives in the UK. His three-week of vacation time each year are all spent on visiting the families. Pretty intense. He is trying to figure out a solution.
Is there a solution to this problem? For us, the solution could be
1) We move to either the bay area or the Far East to be near one set of parents. However, the housing price in the bay area is prohibitive. And we feel the Pacific Northwest is a much better place to raise a family. We could move to the Far East, but the education system there is suffocating for young kids. Plus, our quality of life would suffer.
2) Parents move to the Pacific Northwest. It’s a possibility. But, they’re still working (although they’re near retirement age). Plus, they have deep roots in their local communities. It’d be hard for them to move.
3) Start a business that we could run virtually and give us flexibility in term of location and time — we could choose our own hours, and run the business from anywhere in the world.
I’m working hard on option #3. My goal for the next year is to make it happen. I’ll report my progress to you periodically.
Are you facing similar challenge? What’s your strategy?
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8 responses so far ↓
1 aandavan // Jul 22, 2009 at 9:19 am
You atleast get to visit your folks.
In our company amd many others in recent times, employees are forced to use up the vacations for the shutdowns that happen atleast 2 or 3 weeks every year. They call it mandatory vacation!
For people from India or China it is impossible to visit our country within the mandatory vacation timeframe.
2 TedHoward // Jul 22, 2009 at 11:51 am
4) See parents less.
This is obviously not something you would consider or you would have listed it.
I don't consider visiting relatives to be a vacation, regardless of whether 'vacation days' are used up. Except for my relatives who like to travel to interesting places (Nepal, Turkey, etc.), I see my family relatively rarely. I take vacations to other countries or places with good day hikes (Mt. Hood was last week). As a realistic suggestion, you could arrange to meet your family somewhere more 'vacation-like' (Hawaii, Oregon coast).
3 GeekMBA360 // Jul 22, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Good idea, Ted. We haven't done this in the past, but I think we might try to meet my folks in Disney Land this December. It'd be more fun for everyone, and less stress.
4 GeekMBA360 // Jul 22, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I hear your pain. 🙂 Do you work for a big company or a start-up? I know people who arrange working-remotely so that they can take a “work-vacation”. For example, I know someone who arranged a trip to India so that he would spend some time to coach the outsourced team in India for a couple of weeks, and then took two weeks off. It's actually a pretty good deal for both the employee and the company.
5 Jacob // Jul 22, 2009 at 4:38 pm
5) Have them visit you if that is possible. That way you can see them after work and over the weekend while they stay and visit you. Saves you all of the vacation time and has none of the disadvantages of the other options.
6) Go on vacation with them. Go somewhere relaxing and take a vacation. Just invite them along. It has a lot of benefits as they can watch the kids for a few days and spend time. The whole family can relax together and take time apart when necessary.
6 GeekMBA360 // Jul 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Both are good ideas. I particularly like option #6 — the kids-watching part could be very helpful for overworked parents! 🙂
7 introvert // Jul 26, 2009 at 9:04 am
I'm with Jacob on 5). It would be perfect if the grandparents could come and visit you during THEIR vacations. It's time for you to start using your own vacation as a family – and by family I mean usually you, your wife, and your kids. You need to be able to go places your kids would enjoy (Disney, beach, national parks, whatever), and build some traditions for your own family now. That goes double for building traditions by spending some holidays in your own home. I value grandparents very much and know your kids are lucky to have them, but it's not good for you all to get dragged around on all your days off. 🙂
8 introvert // Jul 26, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I'm with Jacob on 5). It would be perfect if the grandparents could come and visit you during THEIR vacations. It's time for you to start using your own vacation as a family – and by family I mean usually you, your wife, and your kids. You need to be able to go places your kids would enjoy (Disney, beach, national parks, whatever), and build some traditions for your own family now. That goes double for building traditions by spending some holidays in your own home. I value grandparents very much and know your kids are lucky to have them, but it's not good for you all to get dragged around on all your days off. 🙂
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